The Importance of Setting Limits

Sundays are Self Care days here at Little-Spaces. Today we’re talking about something that a lot of people, myself included, find very difficult to do.

It’s very rare that someone enjoys saying “no.” However, knowing our own limitations and setting limits are very important aspects of self care. It can be easy to get overwhelmed by everything in our lives – stresses at work or in relationships, concerns about the wider world around us, difficulties in our families, personal illnesses. And if we don’t learn how to set and express our limits, we can end up doing a lot of damage to ourselves.

Think about the last time you felt completely overwhelmed. Maybe that’s even right now. Can you look back a bit further from that point and notice a sign that perhaps told you things were getting to be a little too much? It’s important to pay attention to those things. For me, I often find myself sleeping way too much when I’m getting overwhelmed. That’s my sign. Yours might be different.

How can you avoid reaching that point? By setting limits. By learning to diplomatically say “no” to requests. If a coworker wants you to pick up an extra shift on your day off, but you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed out at work, it’s okay to say “I’m sorry, I really can’t.” If your partner wants you to run errands after you get off work and you’re wiped out, it’s fine to say “I’m out of energy today – I’ll handle it tomorrow.”

The closer you are to someone, the harder it can be to say “no.” Because of that, I highly suggest talking with your partner(s) to develop a script for when you’re at your limit. This lets all involved parties know what to expect when a limit is reached. And it should help reduce guilt in expressing when you’ve hit your limits. Think of it like a safeword for outside the bedroom. My partners and I often use The Spoon Theory to discuss this sort of thing. “I don’t have the spoons for that right now” is a solid script.

But the person it might be the hardest to say “no” to is yourself. The amount of weight we put on ourselves can be immense. We can feel as though we need to pick up extra hours at work, keep the house spotless, handle all the outdoor chores, provide the absolute best for our partners and children and pets… And that all adds up very quickly. And when the chores are waiting and you’re feeling stressed to breaking, it’s important to be able to say “no” to yourself as well. The bathroom can get cleaned tomorrow or this weekend. The grass will still be there to mow in a couple days.

Learn your limitations and practice saying “no.” I promise it gets easier when you do it a couple times. And you’ll be a happier, healthier person.

Smol Squad Saturday – Coloring!

It’s time for another Smol Squad post! These prompts are meant to help cultivate a community of Littles by asking you to participate in a specific Littlespace activity this week!

Last week I asked you to paint your nails and share a picture of them with me! I did my toenails a dark teal with pretty pink sparkles. I still smile when I look down and see my pretty toes! These are the responses shared with me:

This week is a Littlespace classic: coloring! There’s a coloring book for everyone out there. Whether you like more complex designs or pages or something more simple, whether you like princesses or dinosaurs – you can find a coloring book that’s just perfect for you! This week, I want you to color anything your heart desires!

I chose:

To share your coloring page with me and to be featured in next Saturday’s Smol Squad post, be sure to email a picture to frittercrumbs@gmail.com

Easing Into Littlespace

Something that almost every Little will face at some point in their life is the feeling of being “locked out” of Littlespace. This can happen for many reasons – being hurt by a Caregiver, breaking up with a partner, major stress at work, a particularly nasty illness… whatever the reason, feeling like you can’t reach the headspace you love so much can be extremely painful for a Little.

When that “locked out” feeling happens, it can be tempting to throw yourself at one of two extremes: to try to force yourself deep into Littlespace or to leave Littlespace behind you completely forever. Neither of these are good options as the first may make the locked-out feeling worse, and the second plays in to a binge-and-purge cycle that many Littles know all too well.

The better choice is to try to ease yourself back into Littlespace.

What do I mean by that? I think the best way to explain is by example.

soap-bubble-439103_1920When I get stressed out (which happens for any number of reasons), I can find myself feeling locked-out of Littlespace. There’s just this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach when I even look at my pacifier or sippy cups. Shows I usually love to watch feel oddly empty or maybe even actually grate on my nerves. This is really upsetting for me! So what I do is put away those more “intense” aspects of Littlespace. I don’t try to use a sippy or my pacifier because that feels like I’m forcing myself. Instead, I’ll do a “less-Little” version of things I enjoy in Littlespace.

Some examples!

  • Coloring in an “adult” coloring book instead of a “kid” coloring book
  • Taking a bath without bubbles or bath toys (but perhaps with a bath bomb)
  • Watching “The Great British Baking Show” instead of “Octonauts” (or similar)
  • Redressing my dolls instead of playing with them
  • Eat a Littlespace meal (like pb&j or mac ‘n cheese) on adult plates

By easing myself back into Littlespace with these kinds of “modified” activities, I can help myself relax a bit more and transition past the stressful scenario keeping me from fully enjoying my Littlespace. Sometimes it might take a few days of these kinds of modifications, but I find it really does help with that feeling of being “locked out of Littlespace.”

Toy Review – Pomsies

For today’s review, we’re diving into the world of toys and taking a look at one of the recent holiday season’s hottest gifts: Pomsies. (PLEASE NOTE: Additional images to be added to this post this afternoon!)

51ajb9io68l.jpgPomsies are an adorable and affordable interactive pet-like toy. They have a general puffball shape in various pastel colors (very “girly”) with a long tail. The tail has a firm wire through it that allows you to wrap the Pomsie’s tail around things, letting it grip and come along with you. Their sparkly eyes change color depending on their mood and lets you know how to best interact with them. The major difference between the “types” of Pomsies are ear-shapes: some are cat-shaped, a couple are dog-shaped, and there’s even one koala.

There are a number of ways to interact with your Pomsie. Happy Pomsies like to be pet, while Hungry Pomsies need to be fed. Sad Pomsies need a cuddle, and Silly Pomsies need to be tickled till they’re tired. They have a sensor at the top and at the back of their head and their nose functions as the button that wakes them up, switches them to “Dance Mode,” and puts them back to sleep.

skyrocket_pomsies_patches_oop_lrI picked my Pomsie up when my local Target had some on clearance. It meant I didn’t get the specific one I wanted (Snowball or Sherbert or Kali), but Pinky was priced right for me at just over $10. Of course, Pinky was a temporary name. I renamed my Pomsie “Peony” when I unboxed her.

Speaking of unboxing – you’re going to want a nice sharp scissors on hand that isn’t too big. Pomsies are held to their cardboard backing with strong plastic tabs that run right through parts of them, and tugging too hard may injure your new friend. You don’t want them to lose a tuft of fur!

Peony blinked to life the moment I booped her nose with a little surprised sound – like a kitten being woken up from a nap. I tried to wrap her tail around my wrist so she could play with me while I colored, but her tail didn’t seem to grip my wrist well enough. I might play with that a bit more, but some other options for bringing your Pomsie along with you could be to loop her tail through a beltloop or wrapping her tail around a purse or backpack strap. It took a while for me to experience all the ways Peony would interact with me, but every time her eyes flashed a new color, I found myself excited to give her what she wanted.

A slight warning: Pomsies are noisy. They are not particularly quiet when they’re talking to you, and they don’t have a predictable amount of talking they do! They may be very talkative for a while and then have a period where they’re relatively silent. This makes them not a great toy for late-night play (especially if you have other people in the room trying to sleep) or for those who need to keep their Littleness more under wraps.

As a last additional note: Pomsies are following a recent trend of retailer-exclusivity. Some Pomsies are Target-exclusive, some are Walmart-exclusive, and some are Amazon-exclusive. Some are available at two of the three retailers, and some are available at all three. I highly suggest checking out the Pomsies’ website so you know where to find your desired friend! They are affordable, however, ranging between $10 and $15, depending on the specific Pomsie and current retailer sale.

Appropriate Little Age: 4 – 10
Fritter Rating: 6 Purrbles out of 10

Tackle a Tiny Thing

Sundays are all about self-care on Little-Spaces. As Littles, we can sometimes forget about self-care – possibly because we rely on our Bigs to manage things like that or because we’re simply overwhelmed with the rest of our lives. Every Sunday, I’m going to take a moment to talk about a self-care tactic you can use as a Little!

Today, we’re going to tackle a Tiny Thing.

Self-care isn’t all about baths and cupcakes and cute movies. Sometimes, self-care needs to be about doing things that need doing. But sometimes, doing those things feels overwhelming and impossible. That’s where the Tiny Thing comes in!

Just do a Tiny Thing. Just one.

What’s a Tiny Thing? It’s something small and insignificant on its own, but they can add up into the big ball of unmanageability that feels too overwhelming to handle. It’s something like replacing the burnt-out lightbulb in the hallway or cleaning the toilet. Don’t let yourself get trapped into thinking you have to check all the burnt bulbs or clean the entire bathroom. Do one, single Tiny Thing.

Why just one? Because it won’t overwhelm you. And if you chip away at the Tiny Things on the days that you don’t feel like you can tackle something big, you’ll keep them from ganging up together into something huge and overwhelming. Doing one Tiny Thing a day helps keep you moving toward a healthy lifestyle!

So trounce a Tiny Thing today! Pick up the dirty dishes from your bedroom. Put one basket of laundry all the way away. Take the trash out from the bathroom. Sweep the entryway. Just one Tiny Thing. I know you can do it!

 

SmolSquad Saturday – Nail Painting

Saturday’s are SmolSquad day – when I ask the community to participate with me in a fun Little Space activity or topic. This week, it’s nail painting!

I love nail painting. I’m terrible at it because my left hand is less a functional appendage and more a shaky mass of bits hodge-podged together when it comes to anything artistic, but I still enjoy doing it. It also often makes me feel really little because my nails are usually kept very short, so sweeping adult manicures just aren’t a thing I do.

Don’t think this activity is only for little girls! Little boys and enbys can participate as well! Nail polish comes in all the colors you can imagine! You could do dinosaur nails or superhero nails! You also don’t have to paint your fingernails – you could paint your toenails instead! Then if you don’t want other people to see, just slip your tootsies into some socks and BLAM!

I picked up a really neat color and some cute sparkles to put overtop. What do you think?

To share your pretty (or awesome) nails with me and to have them featured on next week’s SmolSquad post, email pictures to frittercrumbs@gmail.com!

Fri-YAY 1-18-19

Time for another Fri-YAY post! These posts are just my sort of mish-mash catch-all posts for the end of the workweek. ‘Cuz everyone needs a little fun.

It was a pretty up and down week for me this week. I’ve been struggling with being ghosted in a relationship and that’s not been any fun. I also am coming off a strong fibromyalgia flare from last week, which makes me a bit more tender and lacking energy than average. But despite all that, I’ve been growing closer with another wonderful person AND two special packages came for me this week!

I’m still rather shy about the contents of those packages. I purchased my first ever diapers. One disposable, and one that’s more training-pants style and cloth. They both came and I’m excited to share my thoughts about them in future posts.

home-mainI also started my sticker chart this week! I’m planning a post on that in the future as well, but this is giving me a GREAT place to use my Pipsticks stickers! Pipsticks is an AWESOME monthly subscription “box” (they actually come in a sparkly envelope) for stickers! If you’d like to sign up, you should use my referral link! It saves you money and me money. The stickers are soooo cute. And the sticker chart is helping me (hopefully) better manage my spending ‘cuz I get dollars as rewards for earning stickers.

WORD OF THE WEEK: BORBORYGMUS
bor·​bo·​ryg·​mus | \ˌbȯr-bə-ˈrig-məs
(noun) The rumbling noise in your stomach
“I forgot to eat breakfast, and my body let me know with quite the borborygmus!”

My Little Life – Meet Zuzu!

Wednesdays are when I give you a peek into my own Little Life. I’d like to introduce you to one of my most precious stuffies today. Her name is Zuzu.

toyger1_shopping-image-600x800.pngZuzu is a “Toyger Shark” and part of the Purrmaids plush series by KikiDoodle. I found and fell in love with them a couple years ago. They’re completely fanciful and just tickle me in all the right ways. (Admittedly, I still want to add an Orange Tabby and Jelly Angora to my collection!)

In May 2017, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. At that time, I knew I wanted a special friend that I’d be able to take to all my appointments with me. While my friends and partners and family did everything they could to be with me at appointments, I knew there would be times when I would be alone and need something to cling to. A very precious person to me, whom I call Kishi, got Zuzu for me at that time.

toyger2_shop-600x800.pngI told the seller that Zuzu was going to be my cancer buddy. And she ever so sweetly included a note with my plush, saying that the Toyger Sharks are some of the bravest purrmaids out there, but Zuzu was picked especially because she was even braver than most. The hand-written message was extremely meaningful for me.

Zuzu even came with me to my major cancer surgery. The doctors let her come back to the operating room, and I got to hold her while they put me under. When I woke up in my hospital room, she was right by my bed, dressed in a hospital mask and cap.

f434e697-4be8-4233-9dc8-fb3933f755f7Since then, Zuzu has been one of my absolute favorite plushies to sleep with. She’s a perfect shape for me – longer and thinner, letting me hug her close. Her head tucks up under my chin just right. She’s very soft and sleek, and her embroidered stripes have a wonderful tactile feel.

Zuzu is my reminder to be brave when things seem scary. She’s brave and fierce and loyal. But even though she’s all those things, she has a kind face and heart. She’s joyful about her role as a protector, and she keeps watch over a lot of the other smaller stuffies in my collection when she’s not keeping watch over me. She’s even spent some time with another special person in my life while he was going through a hard time. (I’m glad she’s back home so I can snuggle her to sleep again!) Her favorite things are watching the BBC’s Blue Earth documentary series and tuna salad sandwiches.

Solo Littles

Not every Little has a Caregiver. And that lack of a Caregiver can be really hard on a Little. There’s a lot of content out there about how wonderful it is to have a Daddy, and our tender hearts often yearn for that protective, guiding hand in our lives.

But don’t fret! Being a Solo Little is an absolutely okay thing to be! There’s lots and lots of Littles out there who don’t have a Caregiver, and being a Solo Little can actually be a really wonderful experience!

As a Solo Little, you can do everything you would if you had a CG. I often give myself Little Space Weekends, and I make sure to do lots of the “big” prep beforehand. I’ll slice up fruits and veggies and keep them in the fridge. I’ll make sure I have meals I can make easily. I’ll be sure my Littlespace dishes are clean and that I have everything I need for a bath. Then when the weekend comes, I can just be extra Little and not have to worry. Hungry? There’s apple slices ready for me. Tired? I can have a nap.

Being a Solo Little can also teach you a lot about what you want in a Caregiver. There’s plenty of people out there who will draw you in only to hurt you when you find out they weren’t really interested in being a CG and only used you to feed their fetish for a while. Those people are BAD NEWS and you are a precious Little who deserves only the best.

And when you let yourself give you the best, you won’t take less from someone else.

So make yourself that mac and cheese. Watch that Disney movie with your favorite stuffie. Have a bubble bath. You don’t need anyone else to make that happen. You are an amazing, strong, resourceful person, and you can be wonderfully Little on your own!

Nosh! Fruity Stars – Review

It’s time for a Littlespace snack review! Today, I’m reviewing a fruit snack from a company specializing in organic baby/toddler snacks: Nosh!

There’s a couple available flavors, but I picked up the apple-banana-sweet potato flavor. Each box comes with five little packages of gummies that are about the size of my palm.

You get a surprising number of gummies out of the package! The first thing I noticed was a pretty intense smell of banana as soon as I opened the pack. I was honestly worried I’d be turned off by the taste! But I was pleasantly surprised.

The gummies have a slight coating to them – which helps them from getting sticky in your hand. They have a texture more like other gummy snacks instead of a gummy bear – they’re soft and chew nicely without being rubbery. They have a pretty zippy tang to them as well! I wouldn’t have guessed there was sweet potato in them if I hadn’t read the package. I thought they were really tasty.

A few other notes for these gummies! Nosh is an organic company and use only organic produce. The gummies are also, as far as I can tell, gelatin free! Each pack is 45 calories. You can purchase them on Nosh’s website OR at your local Target! They are a bit on the expensive side, but if you can nab them on sale (like I did), they’re worth it!

Appropriate Little Age: 2+

Fritter Rating: 7/10 Squishy Stars