My Little Life – Meet Zuzu!

Wednesdays are when I give you a peek into my own Little Life. I’d like to introduce you to one of my most precious stuffies today. Her name is Zuzu.

toyger1_shopping-image-600x800.pngZuzu is a “Toyger Shark” and part of the Purrmaids plush series by KikiDoodle. I found and fell in love with them a couple years ago. They’re completely fanciful and just tickle me in all the right ways. (Admittedly, I still want to add an Orange Tabby and Jelly Angora to my collection!)

In May 2017, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. At that time, I knew I wanted a special friend that I’d be able to take to all my appointments with me. While my friends and partners and family did everything they could to be with me at appointments, I knew there would be times when I would be alone and need something to cling to. A very precious person to me, whom I call Kishi, got Zuzu for me at that time.

toyger2_shop-600x800.pngI told the seller that Zuzu was going to be my cancer buddy. And she ever so sweetly included a note with my plush, saying that the Toyger Sharks are some of the bravest purrmaids out there, but Zuzu was picked especially because she was even braver than most. The hand-written message was extremely meaningful for me.

Zuzu even came with me to my major cancer surgery. The doctors let her come back to the operating room, and I got to hold her while they put me under. When I woke up in my hospital room, she was right by my bed, dressed in a hospital mask and cap.

f434e697-4be8-4233-9dc8-fb3933f755f7Since then, Zuzu has been one of my absolute favorite plushies to sleep with. She’s a perfect shape for me – longer and thinner, letting me hug her close. Her head tucks up under my chin just right. She’s very soft and sleek, and her embroidered stripes have a wonderful tactile feel.

Zuzu is my reminder to be brave when things seem scary. She’s brave and fierce and loyal. But even though she’s all those things, she has a kind face and heart. She’s joyful about her role as a protector, and she keeps watch over a lot of the other smaller stuffies in my collection when she’s not keeping watch over me. She’s even spent some time with another special person in my life while he was going through a hard time. (I’m glad she’s back home so I can snuggle her to sleep again!) Her favorite things are watching the BBC’s Blue Earth documentary series and tuna salad sandwiches.

What “Little” Means to Me

With the blog in its very early stages at this point, I figure now is a good time to talk about what being “little” means to me.

Littles, Littlespace, Age Regression, CG/l… there’s a lot of terms and words out there to try to wrap your head around if you’re just coming into this world or self identification. And all that terminology can be pretty intimidating! And what definitions you find might just confuse you.

So, let me try to get through what being “Little” means to me.

Being Little represents my best self. Being Little is just a way I describe who I am basically all the time, but it’s also a way to describe my most ideal self. It’s an open, trusting way of looking at the world through a lens of wonder, innocence, and true appreciation for things that may otherwise read as insignificant.

Being Little means I enjoy things not typically seen as “adult.” But this isn’t as deviant as it might at first seem. Many adults collect toys or other kid things. Tons of adults read young adult fiction or enjoy tv shows meant for children. Adults make up the majority of video game consumers.

Being Little is an embracing of that. It means I adore my plushies, and I delight in watching cartoons and eating sugary cereals. It means I utilize comfort and self care tactics that work for me, even if they “should have been left in my childhood.”

Being Little is my best me. I wouldn’t change it for the world.